We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
