everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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