As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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