In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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