I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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