I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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