if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
