Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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