i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
