Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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