what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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