I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
