my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
