I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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