your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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