I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
