Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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