For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You ruined the universe
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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