Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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