hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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