is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Its about making memories worth repressing
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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