i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
