i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
