My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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