i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
