What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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