OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
