Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
