Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
