anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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