and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
