Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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