I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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