addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
