Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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