he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
