..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
