Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
