Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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