then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
