He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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