i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
