I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
