Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
