took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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