he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
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