so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
