Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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