There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
