I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
