One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
