I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
